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Entry tags:
application: deerington
IN CHARACTER
Character Name: Jeffrey David Calhoun
Played-By/Art Claim: Timothy Olyphant
In-Game Tattoo Placement: His left forearm, close to the crook of his elbow. Similar to this, only on his inner arm.
Current Health/Status: He's alive and in good health, having just gone to sleep on a totally ordinary work night.
Age: 44
Species: Human (Gifted, ie magically inclined)
Content Warnings: Recreational drug use (marijuana), drug addiction and recovery, demon-induced psychological torture, hallucinations, fugue blackouts, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and inpatient treatment.
History: Jeff's from a modern fantasy universe, set in the present day, where magic is:
- Real. It exists, and it's been around for ages.
- Hereditary. Approximately 12% of the population is born with the ability to use magic at all.
- Out in the open. Everybody knows about it.
Officially, magical abilities are known as Gifts, and those who possess them are Gifted. While Gifted people are generally understood as part of modern society, that doesn't mean they're universally loved or embraced. Stigma and prejudices still run deep in some areas. But by and large, being Gifted (or not) is just another facet of a person's identity.
Jeff Calhoun is a nervous, gentle bard who refuses to do anything particularly bardly. Though Gifted, he rarely casts spells, and the thought of performing for an audience is likely to send him spiraling into anxiety. With a past that's marked with addiction, instability, and a close brush with demonic possession, Jeff's determined to live a life that's as uneventful as possible. These days, he's a divorced, suburban-dwelling high school history teacher and a doting single father to his teenage daughter. He prefers to live out his life like he's the supporting character in other people's stories. They can go off and have fun; he's already had his turn. No extra attention, no drama, no action or adventure.
There was a time, though, waaaay back in the early 90s, when Jeff was wild and reckless, a total live-wire of a performer, making a name for himself (and his band, the Nervous Tix) in LA. Night after night, he and his bandmates would perform music weaved through with magic ritual, cultivating bacchanalian revelries at their shows. As their hype grew, and their momentum built, Jeff and the Tix seemed like they were on the trajectory towards stardom.
That is, until his reckless magic use accidentally summoned a demon that ruined his life and left his dreams in tatters.
But let's rewind a little. (Click for full history.)
Born in Santa Monica on June 6, 1974, Jeff's the middle child of three. His parents-- an attorney and an artist-- were college sweethearts, Gifted activists who'd met each other at a protest, and Jeff and his brothers were raised with the Gift as an intrinsic part of their identities. The Calhouns were supportive, enthusiastic, and endlessly permissive parents, still clinging to the hippie ideals that brought them together, which was... good for Jeff in some ways, and disastrous in others.
By necessity, Gifted people kind of have to be inquisitive, independent, and adventurous, at least if they really want to experience the Gift to any real degree. It's difficult, because magic can't be taught, not in any 1-2-3 "this is the incantation, and this is the ritual, and here are the steps you take" kind of way. Instead, you learn the theories, and you learn to translate that into your own, individual way of communicating with the Gift. Ritual, it's called. Only then can you really begin to teach yourself how to cast the particulars. Many don't bother, or they reach a certain, comfortable level of modest skill and settle there.
So the Calhouns, Gifted to their core, and in every facet of their lives, nurtured those vital traits of inquisitiveness, independence, and so on. They encouraged their sons to try everything, do everything, experience everything-- responsibly, of course, and with some parental supervision! Mike, the eldest, really thrived, growing into a compassionate, ambitious, brilliant young man with a big heart and the drive to put his ideals into practice. Meanwhile Eddie, the youngest, may have been neurotic and high-strung, a total dork according to his peers, but he was always authentically Eddie. He knew who he was, and he liked what he liked, and he wouldn't let anyone make him shrink or hide. Where Mike was beloved by his peers (total golden boy), Eddie was the misfit with the small, tight-knit group of friends. They both had their people with whom they belonged.
As for the middle child? Jeff was the artist. He was all emotion and intuition and dreaming, drifting around with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. Music was his first, loudest, and longest love, and he picked up his first guitar before he ever even thought about casting a spell. The Gift came second, and it was only natural-- a total no-brainer-- that music would be his Ritual, his magical language. He was a bard through and through, to the point where the only reaction anyone could give to his magical-musical journey was "...yeah, that checks out."
As far as school went, Jeff would embody academic mediocrity. It was like he poured everything he had into music and magic-- learning, practicing, testing every rule and boundary-- and school was a very, very distant third in his list of priorities. To his peers, he was a friendly, outgoing kid, with a casual, easy-seeming confidence that coasted him through the different cliques. He was like a social drifter, friendly with everyone, but oddly detached from any particular group. He had one best friend, and then a sea of casual acquaintances. It afforded Jeff this mystique, an elusive kind of cool that was largely just a figment of other people's gossip and imagination.
In high school, Jeff's tendency to zero in on his interests at the expense of everything else had increasingly negative consequences. He'd developed a laid back rebelliousness, cutting classes and neglecting schoolwork in favor of cultivating his music and his Gifted rituals. It used to be, he could skate by making B's and C's. Then it became C's and D's. Drugs became a staple recreation, which he'd claim was because it helped him meditate and commune with the Gift, but honestly, it was mostly because he really liked getting high.
But, boy was he talented. He could play guitar brilliantly, sing in a voice that was beautiful and raw, and cast lively, dynamic spells like the Gift was just another extension of him. He was, simply put, good, and his ability to really push himself and excel in these things led his parents to put blinders on with his more glaring issues, and deal with his academic problems with too soft a touch. Jeff was just taking his time and finding his way, they figured. He was an artistic soul. It was fine.
It was only a matter of time before Jeff got it in his head to start a rock band with his best friend. Brazen and outgoing, he was an obvious frontman, and she was a skilled drummer with a knack for lyrics and composition he couldn't match. They complemented each other well, and soon they recruited a couple more musicians for rhythm guitar and bass. And thus, the Nervous Tix were born. All-Gifted, with magic weaved into their shows to create an experience unlike any other act out there, the Tix were going to be totally revolutionary!
The only problem was: they sucked. At least, they sucked at first. But, for all their failings, they worked hard. They brainstormed. They composed different music and played around with their sound. They practiced. They found a style that worked for them, and in time, they improved.
Meanwhile, Jeff was flunking through his senior year of high school, and he wouldn't be able to graduate without putting his band to the side, putting his head down, and working his ass off to repair the damage for the rest of the school year, and likely through the summer. When he opted instead to flunk everything and skip out as soon as he turned 18, he would tell everyone it was because it didn't matter. After all, he had his art, his calling, his future career all mapped out, and you don't need a high school diploma to be a fucking rock star.
But the truth was: Jeff was afraid of trying, because if he tried and still failed, it would confirm to himself and the world that he really was just an idiot. At least this way, he could end his academic career on his own terms.
Still, flunking high school was a reality check in some ways. Jeff got a job (which assuaged some of his parents' fears), doing his best to support himself and his art. He kept himself busy, eventually saving up enough money to move into an apartment with his bandmate. The Tix kept performing, starting out at little dives, then moving up to clubs and other venues. They'd open for other up-and-coming acts, broadening their audience. And, the more magic they weaved into their shows, the bigger they got. The Tix became known for cultivating a revelrous, bacchanalian (and occasionally spiritual??) experience, and as they developed a following, they became a fixture in the LA music scene. Jeff and his bandmates had never worked so hard at anything else in their lives, and it was paying off in hype, momentum, and what was looking like an increasingly bright future.
But when you meddle with magic the way Jeff was, amping it way up, way too many times, eventually it's going to blow up in your face. Despite knowing this, despite warnings, he kept at it, because he was young, cocky, and invincible. His star was rising, and he wasn't gonna stop now. With all the magic the Tix were slinging around, it was only a matter of time before he got attention from other beings who possessed an intrinsic link to the Gift.
Which is to say: Demons.
Now, demons aren't inherently evil. Some are malicious, others are benevolent, but most of them are utterly indifferent to humanity. They exist on a separate plane of reality, and their only connection to reality as humans know it is through the Gift. It's like: if the various planes of existence were laid out on a Chutes and Ladders board, the Gift would be both the chutes and the ladders. Most of the time, that means... effectively nothing. Your average spell isn't going to be enough to attract otherworldly being's attention, let alone create a pathway for it to take a trip to Earth. In order to ever have a brush with a demon, a Gifted person would have to be a particular blend of brilliant, driven, and utterly stupid and reckless. And even then, your average demon is likely to want little to do with any human. At most, it may impart a little bit of wisdom to whoever summoned it (or a vague, meaningless, and totally misleading riddle), then peace out back to its home.
Jeff's demon was different. It was intensely curious, intrigued by what little it understood of humans. In particular, it found music so utterly captivating that it took notice of these odd, melodic manipulations that would reverberate through the Gift with increasing volume and frequency. It started to anticipate it, to look forward to it, until one day, it followed the music all the way back to its source, like a rat trailing after the Pied Piper.
Now, going back to that earlier analogy: Jeff's magic, in this case, would be a chute. A one-way ticket. So when the show-- and the musical rituals-- ended, and all that magical energy dissipated, the demon was effectively stranded on Earth. Specifically, it was tethered to Jeff, which was kind of similar to possession, but not quite the same. With possession, it could have taken the reins, used him as a meat puppet, and really experienced all that humanity had to offer. Instead, it was more like the demon was tied to him, and neither could escape the other, and so it just... made itself at home. Invisible and inaudible to everyone else, it became his constant companion.
At first, he didn't notice it. The demon took some time to quietly learn and absorb the world around them. And boy did it come to love pop culture. Jeff's heroes became the demon's heroes-- actually, so did his likes, and his dislikes, his tastes and family and friends... Without realizing it, he'd influenced this thing, fed into its growing obsession with the human world. And soon, it started to act out, with the thoughtless cruelty and voracious selfishness of an all-powerful child.
When the demon's influence was small and subtle, it was easy to rationalize away anything unusual in his perception. But then, he'd catch glimpses of something, briefly, in reflections. Not just mirrors, but any reflective surface. In time, the demon began to appear more, finding ways to articulate its wants and demands. It started speaking to him, not just with words, but through the Gift, and through his other senses. More and more, Jeff would experience nightmares, then hallucinations, reaching a point where he had difficulty distinguishing between dreams and reality. Already a habitual, but largely functional, drug user, Jeff's own drug use escalated. He started to mainline any substances he could get his hands on, in an attempt to either smother out the demon, or at least reach a point of numb, peaceful indifference. Naturally, it was a completely ineffectual way of dealing with the problem. Soon, he was experiencing intrusive thoughts of harming himself or others, and it was hard to say how much of that was the demon, and how much was himself, his own (far less literal) inner demons coming out to play. The worst was when he started experiencing fugue blackouts, lasting hours to days. It was this unsettling, dissociative feeling, like he'd wake up after having already lived the day as somebody else.
All the while, the demon kept talking to him in as many languages as it could. It was enthusiastically chatty, always having something to say, though its moods were utterly mercurial. It could be sweet, vicious, friendly, cajoling, demanding, needy; it was whatever it felt like being in the moment. Often, it would call itself his biggest fan, and what it wanted, more than anything, was for him to write a new song for it. And that song would be a ritual, a spell, that would make the suffering-- both of their suffering-- stop.
What the demon wanted was for Jeff to finish what he (accidentally) started and bring it all the way into the world. It wanted to take the wheel, to really become human and experience life in flesh and blood and fluids. It wanted to trade places with Jeff, which, if you think about it, could only be an improvement for both of them, since Jeff was hardly functioning anymore, and the demon was just overflowing with goals and life and inspiration!
Really, their dynamic could best be described as a cross between The Little Mermaid and Single White Female. And, eventually, Jeff was just tired. He was done. He'd give the demon what it wanted, indifferent to whatever consequences it might lead to. Best case scenario, it would take his body, and complete his slow-burn suicide. Worst case, it would take the nearest Gifted person (likely one of his bandmates, who were like family... maybe some unlucky sap in the audience?), and he'd be free. Win-win, right?
Meanwhile, cracks were forming in the Nervous Tix. Jeff was becoming increasingly unreliable and insufferable, a strung-out, self-absorbed asshole who was dragging the band down. They tried to get through to him; heart-to-hearts, interventions, arguments, nothing worked. He was doing his very best to alienate every single one of his friends and loved ones by lying to them, stealing from them, and hurting them over and over again. And, when Jeff finally broke and composed a special song-- just for his biggest fan!-- it was the final nail in the band's coffin. The show was a disaster, the spell (as far as they understood it) made no sense, and it didn't even work, anyway, because he was too weak and fucked up to be any use. All that happened was Jeff puked on the audience, blacked out, and fell off the stage.
After that, the Tix split up. Another promising band, brought down by the unhinged frontman. It's a tale as old as rock 'n roll.
It'd be nice to claim that the band breaking up was the catalyst Jeff needed to seek help. Instead, he wallowed for a few weeks longer, in some kind of dreary, drug-fueled half-life where dreams, reality, music, and magic all morphed into one Cronenbergian monstrosity. And eventually, it was his older brother, Mike (Remember him? Mr. Golden Boy?), at this point a law student at Berkeley, who physically hunted Jeff down and hauled his ass out back to their childhood home.
Naturally, magic-related mishaps are as old as the Gifted community, itself. And one of the benefits of being out in the open was that by the 90s, there were more resources than ever available to Gifted people in need of intervention. So his parents got him admitted into an inpatient program for "Gifted issues." After a brief stay in a medically-assisted detox program, Jeff was moved into Harmony Grove, where he'd spend the next nine months of his life with the other Gifted fuckups.
Harmony Grove turned out to be the most formative experience of his life. He still had the demon with him, but it was easier to combat while he was surrounded by counselors, therapists, doctors, support groups, all helping him work through his treatment plans. It wasn't just the demon that they helped him with; it was also his addiction, and other maladaptive coping behaviors. He learned how to be a more understanding, communicative person, and to apply himself to things outside of his obsessions. After a few months, he was able to work with his care team on one final ritual, to sever the link between himself and the demon-- something he had to do for himself, because nobody could cast that kind of spell for him.
It was difficult. It took multiple failed attempts (and with them: sickness, despair, shaken confidence, and more noise in his head than he could stand), over weeks, before he got it right. But when he'd finally succeeded, there was a lightness he hadn't felt in over a year... and also a sense of loss and grief that he hated himself for. But when it was all finished, Jeff could finally, truly, work on himself and move forward with his life.
Jeff graduated from Harmony Grove with his GED, a determination to turn his life around, a thousand new coping strategies, and a seemingly unshakable sense of optimism. He moved back in with his parents for a while, waiting tables and enrolling in community college. This time, he applied himself, and he asked for help when he needed it, which made him (FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE) something of a model student. He was done with partying, and made sobriety a major priority, attending NA and finding new hobbies to use as coping strategies. Fitness became his go-to form of stress relief, which he desperately needed since drugs and alcohol were totally off the table, and music and magic were so intertwined in his recent trauma that he overcompensated by completely turning his back to them.
Jeff's next step in Living A Normal And Very Respectable Life was to go to college. He became a History major, and met, dated, and fell in love with Lisa Miller, a doctoral candidate and fellow Gifted student. He was always a sucker for the brainy ones... And their relationship was nice. It was normal and sweet and mutually supportive, filled with laughter and light, all these things he thought he'd never experience after the ugliness of his youth. So, when Lisa needed to relocate across the country, to the DC metro area, for work, Jeff happily drifted along with her.
The only problem was... Their relationship was pretty much doomed by Jeff's refusal to really, fully be honest with her. Once they moved in together, his life was like a 24/7 performance, because he just couldn't-- wouldn't-- be his complete self, flaws and all, around her. Jeff was convinced that if Lisa ever really saw him, instead of the happy, perfect demeanor he put out into the world, she wouldn't be able to stand being near him. Instead, he'd pretend he was always fine, and though she knew a sanitized version of his past, he could never bring himself to truly open up to her about the details.
In a way, his fears became a self-fulfilling prophecy, and their relationship would ultimately fail because of Jeff's tendency to close off a huge part of himself. But it took several years for things to fall apart. First, they moved across the country together, Lisa taking a research job with the Smithsonian, and Jeff putting in the work to become a high school teacher. Then, they had a very brief engagement, followed by a wedding and a baby: Melody. Naively, both of them thought that they could salvage their slowly withering relationship through Melody. After all, they loved her, and took to parenting with joyful enthusiasm, and that would solve everything!
Or they would slowly become little more than glorified roommates. Lisa was growing restless, having put off her ambitions for field research in an attempt to make things work, and Jeff was content to focus on their daughter and pretend everything was great and fine and perfect. By the time Mel was 4, however, Jeff and Lisa finally came to terms with the fact that their marriage wasn't much of a marriage at all, and they needed to separate, for Mel's sake, if nothing else. It was an amicable divorce, with Jeff having primary custody of Mel, so that Lisa could finally become the globe trotting field biologist she'd always wanted to be.
He'd already had way too much adventure in his life, after all. So, Jeff was happy (well, as happy as he can be, while deliberately repressing huge parts of his identity, but that's nobody's fault but his...) to stay in the burbs and live a quiet life, giving Mel the structure and stability to thrive. And... maybe he learned from his parents' mistakes and actually enforced some boundaries and discipline.
Some.
He's still a soft touch.
It's been about ten years since the divorce, and Jeff's pretty proud of how utterly uneventful he's managed to keep his life. Lisa's still very much a presence in his and Mel's lives, Facetiming with them when she's out of the country, and frequently staying in the guest room when she's stateside. Oddly, they're better friends now than when they were married, with Jeff finally managing to open up to her, really open up and be himself. And he's still teaching high school kids all about US History, trying his best to show them how very human all these giant figures were, how history's made by everyone, how they're all empowered-- well, you get the drift. Jeff even mentors Gifted kids, sometimes, and he's the faculty sponsor for the Gifted Students Club, even if he still refuses to practice magic in front of them.
Of course, even though Jeff's life is pretty steady, stable, and happy, it doesn't mean there aren't any lingering issues from his past. He's an anxious person. Extremely anxious, especially when a new or unexpected stressor is punted into his life. But he's able to manage the anxiety with some weed. He thinks Mel doesn't know. (She does.) Otherwise, Jeff's doing all right for himself. The self-medication even helps him relax enough that he's gotten back into practicing some-- some-- magic. He keeps the spells small, nothing like what he used to get up to, but it's nice to get back in practice, especially since he's been teaching Mel (now 15), as some good father-daughter bonding.
So that's where Jeff is now. A (sometime stoner) teacher, entering his mid-40s, living in suburbia. His troubled past is still a part of him, and sometimes, he has regrets, sure. He wonders what life could've been like if things hadn't taken such a sharp turn in his early 20s. But when he considers his life as it is, he knows: It was all worth it. And as long as he focuses on his job and Mel, and ignores any big, lingering issues of his own, it's no big deal. He's fine. Everything's fine!
Personality: Casting aside his deep well of self loathing for a moment... Jeff's basically a 6' tall golden retriever: friendly, enthusiastic, and gentle, with a soft heart and a sensitive nature. He may not be the strongest or brainiest guy (honestly, he can come across as a bit of a ditz), but he's perceptive and emotionally intelligent. He does his best to reach out to others and approach them with kindness, empathy, and understanding. As a teacher, this is probably where he's most successful; he engages with students without judgment, and he's patient with them. A former problem child, himself, he gets where a lot of them are coming from, and he tries to understand things on their terms, rather than take any acting out personally. Jeff tries to help people to the best of his ability, and he likes to believe in the best of them. He knows from first-hand experience that nobody's disposable, and that everybody has the capacity to turn their lives around. Jeff believes in others, to the point where it's one of the core philosophies he lives by. Nobody is too far gone, and everybody deserves another chance, if they're willing to listen, learn, and try to do better.
Sometimes, he'll even seek out particularly prickly people and wear them down with UNRELENTING (and probably annoying lbr) FRIENDLINESS. Shockingly, it occasionally works out in his favor, resulting in a tendency to make odd and unexpected friends. (It's kind of another way that Jeff's a lot like a golden retriever...) He's intensely loyal to his friends and loved ones, and once you're in with him, you're as good as family. Even if a friend tries to push him away, he'll stubbornly stick by them-- which isn't to say that he's a pushover, or willing to make excuses for people. He'll still hold others accountable for their behavior, while maintaining his belief in their inherent value and in their ability to do better.
Though he's a friendly person, Jeff's no pollyanna. He knows the world can be shit, that people can be shit, because he's got experience on both ends. There's a long list of people he's hurt throughout the years, most notably as a teenager and young adult. But he's also had time to recover and come back from a dark place. Jeff may not be a fighter in any physical sense, but he's got a strong heart, and he's resilient. He's got a lot to live for, and that keeps him going, even when things seem overwhelming. It takes strength to survive what he did with optimism and kindness intact. Jeff could easily be a cynic, and he isn't just some sweet, dumb, bumbling dad. It isn't naivety that guides him. He's kind and optimistic because he's seen the worst that the world has to offer, and he chooses kindness and optimism.
A total extrovert, Jeff thrives on being around and interacting with other people, and he'll happily strike up conversations with strangers and make that first move towards introductions. If anything, solitude makes him wilt, and he can have a frustrating tendency towards clinginess. Sometimes, he can try a little too hard to befriend stand-offish or rude people, like a total social masochist, but he means well! Even though Jeff can be afraid of the spotlight, given his past, he's never going to be a shy wallflower. He loves a good mingle, and he's pretty good at making quick acquaintances for a night, if nothing else. You know, like when you go to a party and you have an amazing, hours-long conversation with a person, and you guys are totally clicking and you've decided you're gonna be best friends from now on... and then you never see each other again. That's Jeff.
Jeff likes to stay active, both in terms of fitness and generally keeping a busy schedule. By necessity, he tries to foster structure and discipline in his life, because he sees these as vital to maintaining over 20 years of sobriety. Exercise is one of his main tools for dealing with stress and anxiety, and since he tends to be stressed or anxious most of the time, he's consequently in great shape for a guy his age. In addition to keeping fit and healthy, he also tries to keep himself as busy as possible. He's got a set routine for this, waking up early and keeping his days filled and structured until it's time for bed. Too much idle time tends to go badly for him, as it's too tempting to just get high and let the hours pass in a mellow fog. Instead, he puts a lot of his time and energy into his daughter, his job, and whichever hobbies he has at the moment. When Jeff's shaken from his routine, he can react badly, alternating between overcompensation (running himself into the ground, sometimes literally) or neurotic drifting (starting a thousand different things and finishing nothing).
Despite Jeff's overall resilience, he still deals with a hell of a lot of nervousness and anxiety. A year of psychological torment and quality time with a demon will do that to a guy, even 20 years and loads of therapy later. It's practically ingrained in him by now. As a result, Jeff's not great at confrontation. While he isn't likely to back down from something he believes in, he is likely to react to conflict by stammering or getting flustered, to the point where he fails to articulate himself well. It can give the impression that he's a weak pushover (which he can be, at times) or a moron (which he can also be).
It's also worth noting that Jeff's an addict in recovery. Though he's got 20+ years of sobriety from his drug of choice, he isn't "cured" of his addictive tendencies. Jeff is reluctant to face issues head-on, and he's always eager for diversions, which he'll dive right into if it means putting off the source of his stress/anxiety/conflict a little longer. Self-medication with weed aside, he's clean and sober. He won't touch other drugs, and he keeps his drinking to a minimum, but he does over-rely on fitness, routine, and cramming his schedule with so much stuff he doesn't have time to think about anything. Jeff takes healthy habits and uses them to hide from his problems, which is a vast improvement over using drugs/alcohol to cope, but points to some major unresolved issues he ought to work through. Because he relies too heavily on a few coping methods, he tends to get stuck spinning his wheels in terror when he can't turn to them.
Given his past, where he was wild and reckless until it completely blew up in his face, Jeff's now gone in the other extreme direction. He's overly cautious with so many aspects of his life, and won't take many risks anymore. He barely uses his Gift, because he's afraid of it going poorly; he barely plays music for others anymore, because it's so connected to his spellwork; and he can be a little too smothering and protective of his daughter, even if he doesn't mean to be. Jeff tends to fall into ruts where all he does is stick to his routine, at the expense of truly experiencing all that he wants to in life.
It doesn't help that Jeff forcibly suppresses major aspects of his identity (magic and performance) because he's so terrified of falling back into old habits. For as cheerful as he seems, there's a quiet, and deep, well of unfulfillment lurking beneath the surface. It makes it difficult for him to really build and sustain truly open or honest relationships with others. Romantically, he's a disaster, and he hasn't had any real relationship to speak of since his divorce. For as friendly as he is, as understanding and empathetic, Jeff keeps his own inner life walled off. As a result, he feels like a stranger in others' lives. He's a man with a ton of acquaintances and very few friends.
This problem comes down to Jeff's big secret: he doesn't like himself much. He sees himself as a bit of a fraud, somebody who acts like a good person, but has a rotten core. Though he'll defend others to the best of his ability, he's not as likely to defend himself. Whatever patience and empathy he reserves for others, he won't extend to himself. Sometimes he'll just go along with people assuming he's nothing more than a naive idiot. He'll shrug it off with a relaxed, bittersweet smile. There's a vulnerability in letting people see past the surface, which he's not comfortable with. The truth is, at heart, Jeff fears that no matter how far he's come over the years, it's just not enough.
As a result, he can be somewhat deceptive, or at least guarded. Jeff will focus on other people, and when the topic of conversation turns to himself, he'll keep it superficial for as long as possible. It may seem like he's open and effusive, until one sits back and realizes that Jeff honestly hasn't said much at all. But that doesn't stop Jeff from deflecting and avoiding going into his own issues. He's the epitome of "I'm fine!" and other cheerful denials. Though Jeff's kindness and optimism are authentic, and they come from an honest place in his heart, his overall cheeriness can be a facade. Jeff doesn't want to make others uncomfortable with his own melancholy, and he fears rejection-- not romantic rejection, but social rejection. So. You know. He's fine!
Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses & Warping: Jeff is Gifted, which means he has the potential to make magic work through self-directed Ritual. Magic, in this universe, isn't some amazing superpower, nor is it something that's as simple as picking a spell out of a book. Its applications can be versatile, running the pretty typical fantasy gamut (clairvoyance, glamours, telekinesis, vague curses/blessings, etc), with the potential mixing, matching, customization, and so on. The principles of magic are universal, but the actual spellwork is based on the individual.
Spells and Rituals are unique to the caster. Rituals are tied into some aspect of who they are, what they're interested in, or what they're skilled at. As for spells, they have to be crafted/composed and cast by the individual. Think of them like a song that can only be played by one person. They can cast the same spell over and over again, or remix it with something old and something new, or craft a new one. The bigger the effect you wish to have, the more difficult and complex the ritual spellwork must be.
Jeff's Ritual is music: singing, humming, whistling, playing the guitar, etc. Any spell he works has to be built on music, which makes him a bard. He's also pretty rusty when it comes to casting anything big, and he'd rather keep his spells to little, petty things, if he has to cast any at all.
As far as magical potential goes, Jeff could be powerful, if he applied himself. But these days, he's pretty middling in terms of what he's even willing to cast. Back when he was casting constantly (in those young, reckless days), his magic was the epitome of style over substance: flashy, potentially useful, but applied frivolously. What boosted him up and set him apart from your average Gifted person (and consequently: attracted a demon's attention) was the way he was amplified by other casters (his bandmates) and his spells were further fueled by his crowds' energy.
On his own, Jeff's magic has a very limited range and influence, and his spells tend to be small, personal, and borderline mundane-- when he casts at all, which is pretty rare these days. It should also be noted that his spells only work in person, and only when he's actively casting them. So a studio recording of one of his spells wouldn't have any effect on anybody listening, nor would a live broadcast.
Jeff doesn't compose new spells these days, and he hasn't tried expanding his repertoire in over 20 years. But he's got a ton of practice with his old go-to spells, so even though he's rusty, he could pick them up again pretty quickly if he tried. Typically, his range of magic includes:
- Telekinesis: He can move objects (or small living creatures) provided 1) they're in his general vicinity (about a 10 foot radius), 2) he knows where they are, and 3) they're not all that heavy (~40 lbs or less). So Jeff could never lift a car with magic, but he could put it in park by manipulating the gearshift. Really, this kind of spell is mostly useful when his hands are full and he doesn't want to make the extra trip to carry something.
(It was also great for pick pocketing and shoplifting when he was a teenager)
In theory, he could use this kind of magic to do things like pick locks! But since he's likely unfamiliar with the lock's structure, it would be the magical equivalent of throwing shit at a wall to see what sticks.
>Warp: Now moving objects is about as janky as trying to use a claw machine. Which is to say: jerky, imprecise, and often missing the mark. - Empathic Manipulation & Intoxication: One of his go-to party tricks as a young bard was to sway the moods of his audience. His spells can have an intoxicating effect on the listener, usually a temporary state of euphoria or lowered inhibition. Typically, effects wouldn't last for more than 30 minutes, and would be weaker/more diluted if cast over larger groups. On his own, Jeff could have a moderate effect on a handful of people. When amped up by other magic users (like his bandmates, in the past), he could work a crowd into a frenzy.
Jeff never casts these spells anymore, and has no desire to ever try it again. The only time he might make an exception would be if he needed to induce a temporary soothing/calming state on somebody who's panicked or injured.
>Warp: In the event that Jeff ever finds it in him to attempt this kind of magic again, he may find that the wrong emotions will be emphasized. Maybe people go into a rage, or they feel profound despair, extreme anxiety, paranoia... The sky's the limit when it comes to fucking up empathy magic! - Pyrokinesis: Starting fires is Magic 101, and Jeff's no exception-- provided there's something flammable to actually ignite. He can light a candle, or start a campfire (y'know, that's already got kindling and kerosene or whatever), but nine times out of ten, he'd rather just grab a lighter to do the same thing. Jeff can snuff out small flames, but he can't stop an uncontrolled fire.
Beyond lighting/snuffing out fires, Jeff can manipulate them a little with magic, but only in flashy, pointless ways. He can make them dance a little, or take shapes temporarily, but that's about it. Jeff can't change the size or intensity of fires.
>Warp: There's a chance that he'll miss his mark when trying to light a fire, instead lighting up some other nearby object. - Lights: Jeff can use magic to light up an area-- sparkling fairy lights, or creepy will-o-the-wisp looking things, or colorful lights, and so on. They're showy, pretty, and temporary. Mostly, this spell comes in handy if Jeff's stuck in the dark and nobody has a flashlight.
>Warp: In general, any dancing lights he conjures may seem to have minds of their own. They'll light the way, or fly off in huffy fit. - Locating: Sometimes, Jeff can use magic to find things. Like if he misplaces his keys, the right spell can give him a sense of where they might be. This can work on all sorts of objects, but he has to be familiar with the "essence" or "energy" (or whatever you want to call it) of the object's owner. So Jeff can find his own misplaced objects, but he couldn't find his student's dad's missing golf club. I mean, unless he spent some time with the guy first. During his misspent youth, Jeff would use this kind of magic to try to locate and steal test answers from his teachers.
>Warp: Now this spell can put him in a trance-like state and have him wandering off until it breaks. Where's his destination? Who knows, could be fun for a plot. - Blight: He can kill plants, but it's rude and he tries not to. He also can't do the opposite-- nurture life-- with magic. Honestly, the only reason Jeff even learned how to blight plants was because he wanted to prank dickish neighbors and vandalize the school football field when he was a teenager.
>Warp: Annoyingly, his least useful spell works perfectly fine. In fact, sometimes it might even work when he's trying to cast something else.
There's also a range of magic that Jeff's absolutely not capable of: healing (that's kind of a one in a billion skill), telepathy, mind control, flying, anything permanent, and anything that might have a larger scale influence than his immediate area.
Inventory:
- an outfit consisting of a zip-up hoodie, henley, jeans (and wallet), and a sweet pair of birkenstocks
- phone (plus charger & headphones)
- guitar (Gibson SG Standard)
- amp
- a pair of normal adult shoes that actually covers his toes
- sweatpants, so that he has two whole pairs of pants
Writing Samples:
- TDM Thread
- Facing some ghosts of the past
- Being a teacher
- Being a dad (or dad friend)
OUT OF CHARACTER
Player Name: Ros
Player Age: 34
Player Contact: weeyotch#8200 (discord) or
Other Characters In Game: N/A
In-Game Tag If Accepted: Jeff Calhoun: Ros
Permissions for Character: Link
Are you comfortable with prominent elements of fourth-walling?: I am!
What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: Horror's my favorite genre, so I'm going to make An Attempt to keep this brief. I love Stepford/domestic horror, twisted/grotesque families (Texas Chain Saw Massacre, People Under the Stairs, Devil's Rejects, etc), struggles for control over the self (whether it's versus something psychological, or versus possession, a beast within, etc), monstrousness as a general concept (becoming a monster, what really makes a monster, etc), body horror (LOVE IT but also really bad at writing it), folk horror, cannibal horror (specifically urban/suburban/rural cannibalism, as opposed to jungle exploitation cannibalism).
I think mainly, I love it best when the horror is centered around the self or the community, rather than the outsider/other, and I really dig psychological themes of perfection, conformity, paranoia, gaslighting, and questioning one's self/identity.
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?: Nope
Additional Information: That history section might be excessively long, and I am so sorry for that