[ When Peter comes back into the living room, he carefully pulls Jeff to him, telegraphing every movement so as not to spook him. His face is never that express, but it's clear his posture is a little stiff, a little anxious.
But his eyes are soft when he begins to speak, ]
Got a big question for you. [ That's how Peter approaches it. Tell him it's important, but not harrowing. At least he hopes it isn't for Jeff. ] Our contract's about up, so we need to come to another arrangement. But I'm thinking—
[ Jeff's nervous, of course he is, that's pretty much his default state, amplified and buzzing as his anxiety practically feeds off of Peter's.
But he tries to mask it behind a grin. It's looking a little sunnier now, like the way he used to smile. ]
Ooooh, a 'big question'?
[ Annnnd his grin starts to fade as Peter goes on. Their contract is almost up, and he knows it-- has known it-- but kept pushing that conversation off, trying not to think too much about it and all the possible doomsday breakup scenarios that could come with it.
It's not like he's much of a partner lately. He's been a total fucking mess, more trouble than he's worth, and fuck, he hasn't even tried to make quota over the past three weeks, which is sure to bite them both in the ass eventually and oh god, he's thinking about 'another' arrangement, like a different one? Like a pity one? Is Peter going to keep him around for another three more months as a submissive in name only? Just a responsibility, instead of a partner? Or-- or-- ]
Well, we might as well make this permanent. [ PLOT TWIST! Didn't see that comin', didja?! ] Not like I'm going anywhere. Not like you're going anywhere. Hopefully.
[ His hands slide down Jeff's shoulders like a soothing pet. ]
Oh. [ Hang on, it's taking Jeff a moment to process this PLOT TWIST. But Peter should be able to see his mental processing play out quite clearly, as first, Jeff's so wrapped up in doomsdaying that he almost misses what Peter just suggested. Then he blinks and mulls it over, like MAYBE he misheard? What if he misheard? It would be so awkward if he did.
And then it clicks that he didn't mishear anything, and Peter wants a permanent contract, with him, for, like, HOWEVER LONG "PERMANENT" MAY BE.
Which is a long fucking time!
And as THAT part clicks, he starts to smile. Then he's beaming and sliding his arms around Peter, relaxing against his boyfriend, boneless and carefree for the first time in weeks. ]
I think I might be open to that.
[ Please. Judging by the look on his face, it's clear he thinks it's the BEST NEWS EVER. ]
[ When Jeff practically melts into him, Peter soaks up the moment like a starving man. They don't share near as many of these bear hugs anymore, but he tries not to get too greedy with it. He holds him tight, but not suffocating, not to trap him. Jeff's in a space that'll keep him safe, keep him warm and comfortable and loved. ]
[ Jeff squeezes Peter in his hug, smiling as he rests his head down on the crook of the other man's neck. It's a green light, an attempt at encouragement, because god, he's missed these bear hugs just as much as Peter has. ]
Yeah, well, you make me even happier. So there. [ He lifts his head again, bumping his forehead against Peter's in a gentle tap. ] Is this like the city's version of marriage? Like, did you just propose to me?
[ The bait is tempting. He wants to bite down with all his might and let Jeff take him for a ride. Hell, he already has the ring waiting in the back of his bedside table, but it doesn't seem like the right time. So, Peter side steps the silly question with his usual grace, and Jeff none the wiser. ]
If it is, I'd hate to see what a wedding ceremony is like around here. [ He takes in a big breath of Jeff's hair products they share together. ] Let's make this moment ours instead.
It probably involves... [ Dog collars and a lot of kneeling. That's what he almost says, but it hits too close to home, makes him nauseous to think about. And he hates it, he hates so much that he can't even have this moment without some vicious memories stomping around in his head. ] ...an orgy with the entire wedding party. [ He smiles. ] I like doing things our way. Just you and me, big guy.
[ Even if Jeff doesn't say what's on his mind, he can read between the lines. His big arms slide tighter around his boyfriend until Peter's practically hugging his own elbows. ]
All right if we stay here for a bit? [ They're standing cheek-to-cheek, their hairy son winding through their legs with sudden interest now that they aren't paying attention to him. ] I've missed this.
[ He hopes it doesn't make Jeff feel guilty, that he should be pressed into service when he's been run through a meat grinder, but it's the sad truth, and he can't hold it in any longer now that the man's in his arms. ]
[ He does feel guilty, but it's not because of anything Peter says. It's his own bullshit, his utter certainty that Peter's too good for him, that he's too much of a mess to be the kind of partner Peter deserves.
But it feels so good to be with him, and it's almost enough to drown out the guilt and self loathing, at least when they're together like this. He hums softly. ]
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a few days before vday
But his eyes are soft when he begins to speak, ]
Got a big question for you. [ That's how Peter approaches it. Tell him it's important, but not harrowing. At least he hopes it isn't for Jeff. ] Our contract's about up, so we need to come to another arrangement. But I'm thinking—
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But he tries to mask it behind a grin. It's looking a little sunnier now, like the way he used to smile. ]
Ooooh, a 'big question'?
[ Annnnd his grin starts to fade as Peter goes on. Their contract is almost up, and he knows it-- has known it-- but kept pushing that conversation off, trying not to think too much about it and all the possible doomsday breakup scenarios that could come with it.
It's not like he's much of a partner lately. He's been a total fucking mess, more trouble than he's worth, and fuck, he hasn't even tried to make quota over the past three weeks, which is sure to bite them both in the ass eventually and oh god, he's thinking about 'another' arrangement, like a different one? Like a pity one? Is Peter going to keep him around for another three more months as a submissive in name only? Just a responsibility, instead of a partner? Or-- or-- ]
Oh. Yeah?
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[ His hands slide down Jeff's shoulders like a soothing pet. ]
What do you think?
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And then it clicks that he didn't mishear anything, and Peter wants a permanent contract, with him, for, like, HOWEVER LONG "PERMANENT" MAY BE.
Which is a long fucking time!
And as THAT part clicks, he starts to smile. Then he's beaming and sliding his arms around Peter, relaxing against his boyfriend, boneless and carefree for the first time in weeks. ]
I think I might be open to that.
[ Please. Judging by the look on his face, it's clear he thinks it's the BEST NEWS EVER. ]
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Good, because you make me so happy every day.
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Yeah, well, you make me even happier. So there. [ He lifts his head again, bumping his forehead against Peter's in a gentle tap. ] Is this like the city's version of marriage? Like, did you just propose to me?
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If it is, I'd hate to see what a wedding ceremony is like around here. [ He takes in a big breath of Jeff's hair products they share together. ] Let's make this moment ours instead.
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[ Even if Jeff doesn't say what's on his mind, he can read between the lines. His big arms slide tighter around his boyfriend until Peter's practically hugging his own elbows. ]
All right if we stay here for a bit? [ They're standing cheek-to-cheek, their hairy son winding through their legs with sudden interest now that they aren't paying attention to him. ] I've missed this.
[ He hopes it doesn't make Jeff feel guilty, that he should be pressed into service when he's been run through a meat grinder, but it's the sad truth, and he can't hold it in any longer now that the man's in his arms. ]
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[ He does feel guilty, but it's not because of anything Peter says. It's his own bullshit, his utter certainty that Peter's too good for him, that he's too much of a mess to be the kind of partner Peter deserves.
But it feels so good to be with him, and it's almost enough to drown out the guilt and self loathing, at least when they're together like this. He hums softly. ]
Your arms feel like home.