[ SQUINT. She makes her way to the kitchen to score something that's basically the Riverview equivalent of a banana before she comes back into the living room. ]
You make it sound weird. I just figure... I mean, she's got her sister here, apparently, only she's younger when she used to be older--I'm not sure about that whole thing. But I just kind of figured a kid shouldn't be on her own if she doesn't have to be.
[ Athena doesn't put a whole lot of stock in the care of social workers. ]
Iiiiit's... kinda weird! [ SORRY, ATHENA, BUT IT IS. ] I don't want any kid left on her own, either, but... I'm also a grown man-- a stranger!-- who's got no connection to this kid. Personally or professionally.
[ Like he's not trying to be a jerk here, BUT DO YOU SEE HOW THIS MIGHT LOOK, ATHENA?
He sighs. ]
Sorry. I'm not trying to-- I can talk to Waltz about it.
Jesus, Jeff. [ WATCH AS SHE ANGRILY PEELS HER BANANA. ] I'm not fucking volunteering you to run a pedo ring or something, I'm--fuck it, you know what, I'll take care of things myself.
[ I'M SORRY, ATHENA, HE'S JUST GOING TO SNORT OUT A LAUGH AT YOUR FURIOUS BANANA PEELING AND SASS.
You're such a teenager. It's adorable. ]
C'mon, I'm not gonna leave a kid out in the cold. Or. Metaphorical cold... since it's summer... I just want to make sure this tiny, possibly homicidal superhero is comfortable with your offer, too, y'know?
[ And not, like, feeling pressured to accept... dadding from strangers. ]
Invite her over for dinner sometime. You guys can hang out and watch movies while I slave away in the kitchen!
...Oh. [ A SLIGHTLY LESS-SURLY BITE OF HER BANANA. Around a mouthful: ] I just asked her if she wanted to meet you guys and she said yes. I asked her if it was weird and she said it was nice. So there.
[ At that last idea she brightens. ] That's a good idea. Could I invite Peter too?
[ AND ANY OTHER TEENAGER OR KID SHE FINDS IN THE MEAN TIME. ]
[ She finishes her banana and dumps the peel in the kitchen garbage as he talks, then stops, leaning out of the kitchen door to waggle her eyebrows at him. ]
Should I make plans. Do you want to be alone.
[ You can here the tilde at the end of the word. ]
What? [ Jeff springs up from the couch so fast the recipe book goes clattering onto the floor. NOT THAT HE WAS LOOKING AT RECIPES FOR CAM. ] No! It's like-- family dinner! You're supposed to be there!
[ YOUR PRESENCE IS WHAT KEEPS IT FROM BEING A DATE, ATHENA!! ]
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[ All things considered... That doesn't sound... too bad??? ]
Okay, I'm gonna assume that's justifiable homicide.
[ What a rude assumption to make, Jeff. #notallcthulhus ]
So were you just... like... "Hey, want to have two dads? They're used, but in good condition!"
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You make it sound weird. I just figure... I mean, she's got her sister here, apparently, only she's younger when she used to be older--I'm not sure about that whole thing. But I just kind of figured a kid shouldn't be on her own if she doesn't have to be.
[ Athena doesn't put a whole lot of stock in the care of social workers. ]
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[ Like he's not trying to be a jerk here, BUT DO YOU SEE HOW THIS MIGHT LOOK, ATHENA?
He sighs. ]
Sorry. I'm not trying to-- I can talk to Waltz about it.
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You're such a teenager. It's adorable. ]
C'mon, I'm not gonna leave a kid out in the cold. Or. Metaphorical cold... since it's summer... I just want to make sure this tiny, possibly homicidal superhero is comfortable with your offer, too, y'know?
[ And not, like, feeling pressured to accept... dadding from strangers. ]
Invite her over for dinner sometime. You guys can hang out and watch movies while I slave away in the kitchen!
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...Oh. [ A SLIGHTLY LESS-SURLY BITE OF HER BANANA. Around a mouthful: ] I just asked her if she wanted to meet you guys and she said yes. I asked her if it was weird and she said it was nice. So there.
[ At that last idea she brightens. ] That's a good idea. Could I invite Peter too?
[ AND ANY OTHER TEENAGER OR KID SHE FINDS IN THE MEAN TIME. ]
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Okay, okay, sorry I got weird. She can come over! And Peter--
[ Pause. This is starting to turn into a slippery slope. He can see it now. ]
...how many kids am I gonna wind up feeding?
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You don't have to feed them! We could get pizza.
[ Athena who would be paying for this pizza hmm. ]
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[ Buuuut he definitely prefers that idea to, like, cooking for multiple teenagers.
THOUGH SPEAKING OF COOKING: ]
By the waaaay... Mr. Waltz is coming over for dinner on Saturday.
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Should I make plans. Do you want to be alone.
[ You can here the tilde at the end of the word. ]
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[ YOUR PRESENCE IS WHAT KEEPS IT FROM BEING A DATE, ATHENA!! ]
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Oh my god! You like him! Like him!
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[ C'mon, he's a grownup. The proper term is 'have a boner for.' ]
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[ She climbs over the top of the couch to bounce on an unoccupied cushion. ]
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[ Stop taunting him from the height of the couch! ]
So help me, I am cancelling your pizza party!
[ Barely a beat passes before he sighs in defeat. Jeff can't even pretend to be a hard-ass for two whole seconds. ]
Okay, I'm not cancelling your pizza party. But there's no tree-sitting going on, okay?!
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I promise not to fuck up your first date. I'll even help you cook--wait. That might actually fuck it up.
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It's not a date, and you're definitely helping me cook.
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[ She sits down on the couch with a flop. ]
What're we going to make?
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[ HERE. He'll retrieve the book and pass it over to Athena before flopping down beside her, kicking his legs out to rest on the coffee table.
It's so nice having non-cursed furniture. ]
What looks good to you? Good and impossible for us to fuck up!
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[ She pages through the cookbook. ]
Do you know what kinda shit Cam likes?