friendr (riverview)

[bardish]

«

Friendr

» Age: 44 » Seeking: Just friends! » Preferences: Friendly people. I mean, unfriendly people who are in the market for friendship are welcome to message me, too, I don't discriminate. » Interests: Music -- both playing it and listening to it. The outdoors, especially beaches which, I know, TOTAL profile cliche. And I'm trying to work at my cooking skills, so if you've got any recipes, let's swap! » Bio: I'm a dad and a high school history teacher, but since history's REALLY RELATIVE in a place like this, I just teach kids things at the magic school now.

Oh yeah and I'm also a bard. Ex-bard. Non-practicing bard? I guess I should mention that.

Jeff

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base code by photosynthesis

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Comments

✔ @Waltz

[enveloped]

[Which way does one swipe to engage the incompetent history teacher of one's daughter?]

Mr. Calhoun,

May I inquire as to how long you've been a resident of Riverview?

[bardish]

[ Wait, h/o who's this? Who's this person who manages to make a friendr comment sound overly formal and slightly intimidating?

Time to check his profile...

...oh fuck. ]

Dear Mr. Waltz,

~2 months.

-- Mr. Calhoun

[ yes he's kind of being a troll. A TINY BIT. ]

[enveloped]

I know time passes differently here, but I didn’t expect there to be such a discrepancy.

Are you certain you’ve counted right?

[He can only hope Jeff’s better at math than he is history.]

[bardish]

Yes, because I know how to count to 2. Believe it or not, I can count up to 100!

[ Normally, Jeff's text are pure laziness, guided by autocorrect. HE'S ACTUALLY MAKING AN EFFORT HERE FOR YOU. APPRECIATE IT. ]

[enveloped]

Impressive.

Have you encountered anyone else from our reality?

[bardish]

I know, I'm pretty proud of the achievement!

Yeah one person. I think you work with her aunt??

btw You know this app's for making friends right? it's right there in the name!

[ So like. BE NICER???? ]

[enveloped]

Athena Parker's here?

And her aunt?

[Casually ignoring that last point.]

[bardish]

1. yes
2. no

[enveloped]

Are you in contact? I need her number.

Now.

[bardish]

[ You are SO RUDE, Waltz! ]

why don't you try that again in the form of a polite request?

btw how are you?? Are you having a good day? enjoying your stay on the moon?

(See how a conversation can go when you pretend to be interested in how the other person's doing??)

[enveloped]

I'm not interested in how you're doing.

I'm interested in how Athena is doing.

She is a teenage girl without a guardian, alone in a strange, dangerous place.

You are a grown man. I would expect you can take care of yourself. Am I wrong in that assumption?

Give me her contact information. Then I'll engage you in pointless small-talk.

[bardish]

hi you're speaking to her guardian!

Voice;

[enveloped]

Give me her contact number right now, or so help me God you will regret it the next time our paths cross.

Voice;

[bardish]

[ He's already regretting this path re-crossing! ]

How about I give her your number, and she can choose to call you if she wants.

[enveloped]

I can't believe this.

I'm a family friend! Who the hell are you?

[bardish]

Her mentor. [ You can practically HEAR HIM SHRUG. ] It's a bard thing.

[enveloped]

Fine. Whatever. I am past the point of caring.

[An audible exhale. He is so done.]

How is she? Am I allowed to ask after her before yourself, oh bardly one?

[bardish]

I respect her privacy too much to divulge any details. Athena can let you know when she calls you.

[ See, Cam, this is what rudeness gets you. ]

[enveloped]

Fuck you, Calhoun.

I'm going to ruin you when we get back.

[bardish]

[ In that NICE CALIFORNIAN DRAWL: ]

You flirt.

[ HANGING UP NOW!! ]